Humans love their adorable little psychopaths. They may be cute but inside they are 14 pounds of murder.
Who knows the exact date of domestication but imagine you are Grugdoug and you have found yourself a murder floof. He follows you inside your mud hut and demands subsistence. As a good slave, you oblige your newfound master.
These adventures continue, making cat beds out of mammoth fur, finding dead squirrels in your bone hammock, etc.. You are now comfortable around your kitty. But oh no, the foods out and all that’s left is your cat.
Now this is a cat we are talking about here, a simple kill or be killed point system won’t suffice. So up to 3 points for a kill, 3 for inflicted suffering, and 3 for humiliation. Oh and your name is Grugdoug so all you are wearing is a loincloth.
You reach for your cat, only to find he is gone. Cats know when the food is out. Don’t think he didn’t notice humans can’t scratch their own back. Hiding on the roof of the mud hut, the cat makes his leap. The blender of death is now upon you.
Attempts to grab the blender are null and void. Fast as lighting the cat dodges your every move, leaving swaths of crimson in his wake. In a final effort you manage to catch enough fur and pull your formal friend away.
Snapping its neck awards you 3 points. However it was a quick death so 0 points for suffering. A death in battle is no humiliation for a cat, he will enjoy his pets in Valhala: 0 points.
You dress your wounds with old leaves and some chewed up grass because your name is Grougdoug. You feel alright for a few days until the fever kicks in. The blisters are tolerable but the coughing fits are killer. You die a few weeks later, drowned in your own secretions. Cat is awarded 3 points for a kill, 3 points for suffering, and 3 points for humiliation because you died to a 14 pound cat you imbecile.
So let this be a lesson, don’t eat cats in caveman times. Also listen to your shaman and use chewed up moss to treat your wounds!